Smackdown is all about the tie that wasn’t a tie because everybody already saw that AJ Styles hit the floor before Luke Harper in last week’s battle royale. But we all are playing along because wrestling is about suspension of disbelief, baby! Besides there is really no downside to an AJ Styles vs Luke Harper match. Plus as an added bonus we are promised that Bray Wyatt is gonna do some witchy stuff.
And The Winner For Best Picture Is…La La Land!
AJ Styles and Luke Harper put on a great match to decide who would be the #1 Contender to the world title and face Bray Wyatt at Wrestlemania but WWE being WWE they couldn’t let an opportunity pass without some unnecessary shenanigans. So initially AJ won the match but Harper’s foot was on the ropes when AJ scored the pin. Shane McMahon had the match re-started and then AJ won it fair and square after hitting a beautiful Springboard 450 splash.
AJ was phenomenal as usual but Luke really worked his butt off. The guy is really the closest thing to Bruiser Brody we will ever get and it is past time WWE embraced that. get Luke out of those filthy grease monkey clothes and just dress him up like Brody used to complete with the furry boots.
Must Watch TV
Miz TV is back! And his guest is an angry John Cena who is still sore about the less than stand up way that the Miz eliminated Mr. Cena in last week’s #1 Contender Battle Royale. This was a fun little segment that saw Miz and Cena insulting one another in the most entertaining way. Miz basically calling Cena a manipulative, self-serving hypocrite for criticizing The Rock’s part-timer status as a WWE Superstar when that is what Cena is now and Cena basically calling Miz an unoriginal copycat bum whose whole persona is stolen from other wrestlers. Before things could get physical Cena went to to leave, Maryse got in Cena’s face which brought out Cena’s main squeeze Nikki Bella (does this mean the endless Nikki vs Natalya feud is finally over?) which caused Miz and Maryse to retreat. The crowd ate this segment up with some really good dueling “Let’s Go Cena/Cena Sucks” chants.
I guess Cena vs Miz is heading to Wrestlemania which is cool because Miz is the best heel on Smackdown and he and Cena work well together.
Mickie Gets No Respect
In a Best of 2 Falls Match, Mickie James scored the first fall with a DDT on Becky Lynch. In the second fall Becky caught Mickie napping with a quick rollup pin. Becky took the final win after Alexa Bliss came down to distract Becky which resulted in Mickie hitting Alexa by accident allowing Becky to slap on the Disarm Her armbar and make Mickie tap. Poor Mickie, I guess this means she and Alexa aren’t going to be friends anymore. This was a pretty good match that was given a nice bit of time to develop. Still think the real money is in having Mickie James as champ and Becky Lynch chasing the title into Wrestlemania but what do I know?
Thank Jebus That Feud Is Finally Over
Backstage, Alexa Bliss was giving one of her awesome bitchy mean girl promos when she got interrupted by Natalya who threatened to take the Women’s title off of Alexa very soon. Now this interaction came out of nowhere because nothing happened last week that indicated Natalya’s feud with Nikki Bella was over but I won’t look a gift horse in the mouth. It seems like someone in Creative woke up and realized that Wrestlemania was coming up fast and Smackdown needed to come up with some storylines heading into the big show that weren’t old and stale.
Why is This Still A Thing?
For some bizarre reason Cena and Nikki are going to be wrestling Carmella and James Ellsworth next week after a silly confrontation. No one wants or needs this.
Violent Musical Chairs
Not even a match where using chairs as weapons is perfectly legal could make me give a damn about Apollo Crews and Dolph Ziggler. Even the way the match ended was lame…Ziggler drop toe-holded Crews into a chair throat first and then Atomic Dropped him crotch first on the chair for the pin. Yay.
Well, This Virtually Came Out of Nowhere
So Bray Wyatt wanted to do an “Invocation” which I guess in Bray’s world means he would just talk strangely like he always does. Randy Orton then popped up on the Titantron remotely from the Wyatt Family Compound where he seemingly had a breakthrough and is no longer down with Bray Wyatt. Was the Wyatt Compound not what Randy envisioned it to be? Did Bray promise multiple swimming pools, turndown service and fine dining? Because Orton turning on Bray this week and setting his shack on fire after showing no signs of dissension between the two and last week Orton giving up his Wrestlemania title shot seems like pretty bad writing.
Nothing about this rang true. It was a horrible segment that had no real build up despite these people knowing since January that they wanted to do Orton vs Bray at Wrestlemania. Again this company likes to think of itself as an entertainment program and not pro wrestling but if a drama I was watching on TV had such piss poor writing as what WWE does week in and week out I would have kicked it off my DVR ages ago. And who is supposed to be the heel here? Because Bray has been nothing but forthright with Orton while Orton not only burns the man’s property down he also destroys Bray’s sister’s corpse to boot. And for a guy who is supposed to be all cerebral Orton just made his life more difficult because instead of a 1-on-1 match for Bray’s title, AJ Styles is now in the mix. Everything about this storyline is just nonsensical and idiotic.
Dean Ambrose Sucks: The Saga Continues
And not even Baron Corbin wearing a total douchebag hipster hat could make a dent in the unstoppable power of Ambrose’s awfulness.