This is the “go home” show before the next RAW PPV, Fastlane so matches to fill out the card got announced and the Goldberg vs Kevin Owens title match got a bit more shine. And since we are still on the Road to Wrestlemania we got a bunch of angles advanced on that front too. But the biggest story of the night was the fans of Green Bay WI cementing their place as the absolute worst WWE crowd of 2017 so far. Way to go, cheeseheads! But they fit right in on what was a pretty terrible episode of Raw.
For Truly Tough Messes Choose Braun
And there are no two bigger messes in WWE than Mick Foley and Roman Reigns. Mick has been awful in his role of G.M. and Roman Reigns has just been booked into a corner by this stupid company so who better to put Foley out of his misery and maybe beat Reigns so badly that fans begin to feel sorry enough for Roman that they stop booing his every breath. So it is those beat downs in mind we come to the contract signing between Braun Strowman and Roman Reigns for their Fastlane match.
Sadly Braun never got to beat down Foley but he did get to almost kill Reigns with a pretty snazzy spot where Braun tossed Reigns into the corner with so much force that the entire turnbuckle snapped off. Of course Vince’s personal pet project Reigns couldn’t stay down; he had to get up and sign the contract to show there was still some fight in him.
That was some good TV right there. Raw aint doing much right but they have yet to screw up Braun Strowman’s build. Fingers crossed that nothing changes on that front.
This Should Be Interesting
The little Samoa Joe and Cesaro confrontation was cool. They made it clear that Joe and Cesaro have history; they played up Joe’s total asshole persona and they had me eager as hell to see these two guys go at in the ring. Of course WWE beiong WWE they will never let me be truly happy so they hotshot a Joe/Cesaro match instead of letting it grow into something special. The match was still good though (I doubt these two guys could put o a bad match together) with Joe working on Cesaro’s injured leg for the majority of the match. Then one of the interchangeable lady interviewers asked Joe some question I didn’t pay attention that gave Joe the opportunity to brag about how awesome he is and then brought Sami Zayn out to scuffle with Joe for a bit. Because in the world of the writer’s of Raw, it is Sami Zayn that makes a great feud for Samoa Joe and not a guy like Cesaro. Let’s skip over Joe beating up Sami Zayn or playing HHH’s proxy against Seth Rollins and just get to an extended Cesaro vs Samoa Joe feud, please. Why can’t WWE ever let me have nice things?
Not Buying It At All
The more Kevin Owens interacts with Bill Goldberg the less Kevin Owens looks like he should be interacting with Bill Goldberg. I know, I know…Owens is the darling of smarks fans everywhere but watching him all doughy at the top of the ramp in that ill-fitting (and cheap looking) suit talking with that accent that only serves to make him even less threatening and all I think is that Goldberg really needs to rescue that Universal title away from this guy who looks like he should be wrestling in high school gyms. Sure it is a goofy “hot take” but nothing about Kevin Owens looks like he should be main-eventing anything. They need to get him out of those silly suits and get Jericho back soon because that is a storyline that works for Owens.
I’m Just Gonna Be Blunt…The New Day Are Awful
Every time they show up I immediately get an itchy fast-forward finger. I hate their stupid way of talking. I hate their stupid ring attire. I hate that trombone. I hate Booty-Os. I hate their stupid ice cream nonsense. I just hate The New Day.
And making fans suffer through a New Day/Rusev & Juicer Mahal/Shining Stars segment is the type of mistreatment of fans that resulted in WCW dying.
No Austin Aries No Care
Noam Dar? Really? They are still allowing Noam Dar to display his non-descript brand of mediocrity to unsuspecting audiences? Man, look…until Austin Aries is cleared to wrestle and becomes the face of this underwhelming Cruiserweight division I won’t write another word about these dudes. Instead I will just post videos of Aries being awesome. Like his 2008 “I Quit” match in ROH against Jimmy Jacobs.
Blah Blah Blah
They couldn’t have had Seth hit HHH or Joe with his crutch? Maybe let Joe beat Seth up a bit more. Or HHH could put paws on Seth. Anything but Seth doing a bad “I lost my smile” imitation, Joe looking as uncomfortable as hell in that suit and HHH showing how he is still pathologically incapable of editing himself. Nothing about this segment made me care any more about HHH vs Rollins.
She Just Keeps Getting Worse
Wow…in one horribly written and acted segment Stephanie not only demeaned Mick Foley even more than she had already been doing but she also was able to put herself and HHH over at the same time. Does anyone actually find her entertaining? Because watching this show week after week it is very obvious that there will be no payoff to this abusing Mick Foley nonsense. It will just be Mick behaving more stupidly and Stephanie proving her dominance over yet another actual WWE Superstar.
Now I could be wrong and this whole terrible angle could be building to Mick Foley’s daughter making her debut on Raw to defend her dad’s honor and slap the taste out of Steph’s mouth but I seriously doubt anyone writing this crap has even thought things throuh past “Stephanie busts Mick’s balls for the 100th time”.
And because Stephanie is an equal opportunity ego-maniacal asshole she goes on to put herself over Bayley and Sasha Banks because Wrestling 101 states that fans don’t like to see the good guys look strong. Instead fans are all about seeing their favorite wrestlers get verbally slapped around by “Authority Figures”.
Its Black History Month And WWE Still Treated Titus Like Garbage
How long ago did Titus commit the cardinal sin of touching Vince McMahon without permission? Hasn’t the sentence been long enough? It feels like Titus is never going to get out of the dog house though and tonight was just one more steaming load of crap being shoveled onto the career of a guy who once looked to have a lot of promise in this company.
Yeah. Why is dude even still employed by this company? Is it just to allow Vince to continue treating him like garbage? If it is then maybe Titus’ punishment (and WWE employment) is coming to an end soon. Because if Vince is so bored with shitting on Titus that he basically redoes the exact make-up of a Sheamus vs Titus match from three years ago then I figure Titus might be getting his freedom from this seriously hostile workplace. Oh don’t believe me about the carbon copy Sheamus/Titus match from 2014? Well the Internet never forgets, folks. Someone needs to let Vince McMahon know that too:
That is some top shelf petty laziness right there.
Ya Gotta Practice, Ladies
The women’s tag team match between Bayley & Sasha Banks and Charlotte Flair & Nia Jax was a sloppy spectacle from start to finish. All four women looked like they spent no time running through this match before going out on live TV and the actual booking of the match made no sense. Sasha looked bad, Charlotte looked bad and Bayley looked worst of all. The only lady who came out of the match unscathed was Jax and that was just because she got to beat everyone up and no sell all their moves.
Green Bay Is Chock Full Of Goobers
Chanting “Goldberg” at odd moments during Goldberg’s opening promo? Check!
Chanting “What?” despite that chant being old as hell and even more tired? Check!
Barely caring about 90% of the product they were watching? Check!
Chant “CM Punk” while Seth Rollins is trying to be heartfelt? Check!
Congrats, Green Bay…you guys are the worst.